Dear 2018 me,
How are you? I know you are fine now, but it wasn’t like that a few months ago.
Do you know how amazing of an individual you are? I know, times have been tough. You haven’t always had it easy. But in the process of it all, it has shaped you into the person you have become. If you aren’t who you feel as though you wish to become, don’t fret. There is plenty of time to still search for who you are.
You started the year working in something you loved so much and it ended. However, that experience brought so much opportunity to your world. Opportunities you couldn’t grasp at that dark moment.
You flew back home to see your lovely family, who you hadn’t seen for many years. You got a chance to disconnect and recharge, even though it made you feel more lost than ever. But eventually, you ended up finding a new love and a new purpose.
You found it in capturing candid moments and freezing them in time (photography). You started learning and educating yourself again and pushed through. Took courses, watched endless videos, learned all the technicalities there is to it. And practiced and practiced and practiced. I know you still are cause you’re stubborn like that.
You set new goals and started crafting your own path again. Started this blog. And with it, you started dreaming again. You started acting upon those dreams and you began to see results. Slowly but surely. Lost your patience so many times, and broke into tears out of nowhere for the anxiety and uncertainty your future held. At the same time you were creating all of these amazing new things, you applied to as many jobs as possible. You went to as many interviews as you could. And you never saw any results from that.
That ended up with you losing all faith in yourself and started doubting your capabilities and strengths. And that is one of the most dangerous things you could do.
But, thanks to life, you have an amazing support system. You started the year in a very dark place, and slowly got out into the light by your own means, your own goals, your own dreams. And thanks to the people who love you more than anything.
As a result, you learned and you grew. And as fragile as you may have felt throughout the year. As weak, as useless and as destroyed. You never gave up.
You didn’t hide under your blanket and shut down. (Ok, maybe at first. But you got out of it the moment you realized how self-destructing you were at that moment.)
So you worked every day. You created something new every single day. Woke up in the morning and didn’t stop working until late at night. Driven only by motivation, goals, and dreams. Not receiving a single dime for it! And you learned to give yourself some credit for that.
You stopped caring about what other people thought and did your own thing. And it worked.
You started believing in yourself again, and you started to appreciate all the hard work you were doing even though nobody else did. At least outside of your support system, because they were always there for you, supporting every decision along the way.
It was a hard year and you learned a lot from it. Especially about yourself. And that’s one of the most beautiful things!
So in this letter to myself, I wanted to wish you some important things: I wish this 2019 will be kind to you. And I wish you never doubt your own worth, again. I wish you keep learning and studying and building yourself up; creating the amazing hard-working woman you always wanted to be. And realize that you have always been that woman.
Therefore, never forget that even though you are your greatest handicap and weakness. YOU ARE ALSO YOUR MOST GREATEST ASSET! And you can do whatever you set your mind to.
So never give up. Keep dreaming, keep doing, keep creating, keep achieving. And never, NEVER stop loving yourself.